Have you ever thought about how life’s like the ocean? It pulls you in all different directions, there’s high and low tides, and sometimes it can be calm. Just how the ocean has things going on under the surface, so do our lives. There are always things happening under the surface that aren’t visible on the outside. Every wave has a beginning, so how about we dive into the beginning of mine?
Growing up I was really into soccer and basketball. However, I soon realized that my love for basketball was stronger. I quickly realized that my dream was to play in the WNBA. I would work hard in school, get a basketball scholarship, and play in college. I went to basketball camps every summer and was lucky enough to play up with high schoolers. But like how oceans have high and low tides, I would eventually learn what my highs and lows in life would be.
For me it started in 6th grade P.E class. My coach noticed my face would turn a weird yellow, so he made me sit in the golf cart, while all the other kids were running around. This was strange to my family and I because I was always athletic and never had a problem. As time went on, I started having more symptoms. However, the symptoms only occurred during the summer. My Pediatrician believed that my dizziness and nausea was “normal.” As summer ended the wide spread pain started. That’s when my mom started taking me to some doctors. Now we’re to 7th grade (which SPOILER ALERT turned out to be my favorite year!) I was care free and feeling great! The pain would come and go, and I was able to play basketball, and my team even made it to the championships!! Finishing out the school year I was looking forward to 8th grade. But I would soon learn that just as fast as you’re on a high, a low can come out of nowhere and knock you down. This time the pain came and never left. I can’t tell you how many specialists I went to between 6th grade to the end of 8th grade. During these times, I was scared, worried, and a little depressed. I wasn’t feeling well enough to make it to school, which caused people to want to know why, and that’s the last thing you want is to stand out. When you are trying to make friends and just fit in, having people constantly asking what’s wrong with you or thinking that you are lying, just causes more stress and makes you not want to come back to school. All the doctors we went to could tell me what I didn’t have, but couldn’t tell me what I had. This wasn’t very reassuring to me, and definitely didn’t help with all my worries and uncertainties about the future. When school started back up, I had a hard time making it to my classes. When basketball season started, I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to play. However, I was able to play, on a really good day, about 2 minutes.
How I felt is hard to explain, but I felt like a whole different person. The basic things like focusing in class, having enough energy to last a full day at school, or even having the energy to tie my own shoes, was a very difficult adjustment for me to accept. At one point I had to have IV’s at home, which is when it hit me that I was actually sick and that life will be different for me. I also realized that basketball really wasn’t everything, and that there are way more important things to focus on during this life. These are just a handful of things I struggled with, but they taught me to not take anything for granted.
Although this is not what I had imagined for myself, I was extremely grateful to play for those 2 minutes. I was learning that through the bad, there is always a happy side. I was also very lucky to have great teachers that would compile all the work I was missing. That way I could do it at home, but still stay caught up. Now with 2 weeks left of school, and after going to all these different specialists, I received my answer. At the Children’s Hospital (shout out to them! They are truly amazing!) It took them 10 minutes to figure out what I had! The doctor said, “We have some good news, and we have some bad news. What do you want to hear first?” I said the good news. He said, “We know what you have, the bad news is, we know what you have.” He continued to tell me, that I have Fibromyalgia. My initial reaction was tears of happiness, because I was relieved to know I wasn’t crazy. At school everyone would say that nothing could be wrong with me because “I looked fine.” To me I was like ha-ha suckers, I was right! And I felt confident that I’d feel okay because the doctors told me exercise was the most important thing that will help me feel better. That sounded kind of perfect to me! Plus, I knew that some medication would also help. But I’m not saying that everything was always great. It took me a week or so to understand what it meant to have a chronic illness. I was going through I rough patch, and in that moment, I realized that I could really feel pretty horrible my whole life. But what really helped me embrace the happy side of life, was telling myself that it could be worse. I’m not saying that Fibromyalgia isn’t a hard thing to deal with, but for me I feel like there are far worse things out there that people have to endure. And let’s just say this isn’t the only thing I’ll have to learn to endure. But I have an optimistic outlook on life, in knowing that I will have good and bad days, but that I can get through them. This is all part of my plan and I will happily embrace every part of it. Now that this wave has ended, I know there are choppy waves ahead, but with these tools I have shared, I’ll know I can get through them. I hope that you’ll join me next Friday to hear the rest and that you’ll ride this journey with me, of finding ways to embrace the happy side of life. If you have any questions you can ask through my Instagram, @igettoandiam or email me at IgettoandIam@gmail.com.
Embracing the Happy Side of Life 